When I first set out on my journey to become a dog trainer, I was shocked to discover that many culturally accepted ideas were outdated. We were still forcing notions onto our dogs and causing harm by following techniques that were either never based on science or had been debunked decades ago. What worries me further is that, almost a decade later, I still encounter guardians and professionals telling me that their dog is dominant, with no understanding of what that word actually means.

Most people's idea of dominance comes from the belief that dogs are hierarchical creatures trying to be the leader of the pack. It astounds me that people still believe dogs are pack animals. They are not! Can they live in groups? Absolutely! Do they hang out together in natural situations? Of course! But do they live in strict hierarchies? No! Even wolves live in family groups much like humans and don't fight for pack leadership in the same way we once thought. When dogs are free-roaming, their social lives are very fluid. They may sometimes fight for resources like food or sleeping spots, but most of the time, what looks like aggressive communication is actually meant to keep the peace, not start a fight. They are generally a very peaceful species.

Dogs are social animals, and their behaviour is often influenced by their need for safety, companionship, and resources. Instead of viewing dogs as creatures constantly vying for dominance, it's essential to recognise that their actions are often driven by their desire to feel secure and connected to their human family. Many behaviors attributed to dominance stem from fear, frustration, pain, illness, and social anxiety. By perpetuating the idea that dogs fight for dominance, we continue using outdated and unethical methods to teach and live with our dogs.

Our dogs want to be on the sofa because they feel safer high up, they enjoy the comfort, they like the warmth, and they are social beings who want to be near their family. The same goes for dogs in beds. They want to go out the door before you because they are excited. They want to take food from counters because, well, they're dogs! We all need boundaries and need to feel safe by understanding the rules, but this does not mean we need to dominate our dogs.

We have the role of a parent. Whether you like the term or not, it is the closest analogy to the role we play in our dogs' lives. They are family and need to be treated as such. So spread the word: our dogs are not constantly fighting to be the leader. They leave that to us humans. They just want to feel safe, connected, and loved. Simple.